ArtashNikki

1. When you achieve something, we feel like we do too. Men like to be part of a team, and we love it when our team, has a winning streak.
2. Guys will occasionally talk about feelings with each other but only if someone else brings it up.
3. We like watching chick flicks like Chocolat with you because we learn something. That doesn’t mean we won’t make fun of it behind your back.
4. Independent women are very sexy, but it’s nice to be needed .. as long as you don’t demand all our time.
5. Women have so many different ways of loving someone. We have to learn to train our emotions to work like that.
6. Sometimes we wait too long to call after a date because we’re scared we’ll mess things up or seem desperate.
7. Guys who always talk about how great they look are really insecure. Be wary of men who look in the mirror too much.
8. We get nervous about having sex with you for the first time too, especially if there’s been a lot of buildup to that moment.
9. We shove our feelings deep inside and never bring them up again. That’s why we don’t live as long as women do.
10. When we ask what you’re wearing, describe something sexy…even if you’re in a sweat suit.

Source: COSMOPOLITAN / JUNE 2010

Tulip Chowdhury

The glass holding contentment always seems to be half-full. You always want a little more and just don’t seem to get the perfect contentedness of the soul and so the glass is never full. The soul never leaves the body to wallow in the gutter and so we are content to a certain amount, but not fully. And that I suppose is human nature. Our curiosity, our wants always lead us on. Our noses in the air, we are forever sniffing to find out yet a little bit more of this contentment, our eyes is forever on the look out for undiscovered pleasure.
Contentment is considered to be fulfillment of a desire after which we may not want other changes. However at this stage contentment could be short lived. For the fulfilled desire is replaced by a new want. There is someone who won a lottery to become a millionaire. However the contentedness lasted only for half a day for soon the new desires were born, more wishes to enjoy the luxuries of the world took hold of the mind. The soul became restless till they were satisfied. The truth is that desires are inexhaustible. Being able to give our desires a rest might bring in momentary contentment. And then like a heaving ocean our restless soul will again cry for contentment of a different kind. However that would be very much depended on the will of the individual. Unless the will power to win over our desires is strong the state of contentment cannot rest in the soul. To be or not to be content depends to some extent on the will power of an individual.
The state of our living would affect our contentment to a great extent. The rich man’s contentment may be in the accumulation of his wealth and luxuries. His desires are very much different to those of a needy man. The latest car, a grand house, a bejeweled wife and children being raised with ease and comfort may bring contentedness for the rich man. However richness may fail to make a man content when he has everything and yet lacks love and affection from people. Here a needy man, though in wants of worldly goods may find contentedness in life if he is surrounded by loved ones. The attitude to contentedness differs from person to person.
Momentary contentedness may come for a chocoholic from having his or her favorite chocolate. For the workaholic being absorbed in work brings in contentedness while he or she is busy. An artist may be content while pursuing some creative work. The musician finds momentary solitude while music is there. However the soul goes on hayrides the moment the bliss of the moment has passed and seeks contentedness elsewhere. And yet there may be people who are content with life as it is.
As A. Pope says in his poem “Quiet Life”,
“Happy the man whose wish and care
A few paternal acres bound
Content to breathe his native air
In his own ground…..”
Happiness and contentment seem to reside side by side. When contentedness is there happiness resides in the same room. A content man may feel happy with his life. However like contentment, happiness too is often elusive. Contentedness calls for a man being pleased with the situation in life and not wanting changes. But it is our nature that when little contentment knocks on the door we want more of it. We want to keep the door open and we want it to be pouring in like the flooded sunlight. But our bliss is often momentary and as the sunlight fades, the bliss too wanes. Quite often we want changes and want to be content in other ways too. Or, we may want it in larger measure making our soul discontent in the process. Happiness too comes to us often with short notices. A childless woman may experience ultimate happiness when a child is born. However as the child grows up the mother’s demands for the child’s welfare grows by heaps and bounds. And so the mother’s soul loses its momentary contentedness. The focus changes for most people after they have obtained some contentment and settles for new wants. Contentment is like a growing tree, sprouting leaves and flowers and always growing, as if reaching for the sky.
A small child is content with his toys and candies. A youth will be content with the desires of his heart. A newfound love, music, friends or keeping up with the fashion will keep a youth feeling content. People in their middle ages tend to be more idealistic and focus their contentedness on living a righteous life. Age adds wisdom to life and as people age the ethical values finds more meanings. There is contentment that comes from helping the others. Bringing smiles to others always fills the heart with glad tidings. This is contentment of a different kind, more fulfilling. Life feels more worthy when we are able to make others content.
Out there are people who wait for the big bang to make them content. The truth is that small wonders can bring in contentment too. Just as little drops of water make the ocean, little bits of happiness can make us content. In fact people who are able to find their way to contentedness through small means usually are the happier lot. The way to contentment is a road that that branches along with the different paths of life. It is for us to pick up the pieces and be content with what life delivers to us. Contentment seems to come in packages, small and big. It is us, the ones to accept it all, including the wrappers.

by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D.

There will come a point in your tenure with an employer when you realize that you deserve a raise. As with most salary negotiations, asking for a raise is often uncomfortable at the very least and intimidating at the very most. But getting the raise you deserve should not be such an anxiety-creating event, especially if you follow the strategies outlined in this article. In fact, to better help all workers, this article describes both short-term and long-term tips to ensuring that raise negotiations are professional — and minimally stressful.

Before we get to the tips, one element is critical to your success: timing. Timing refers to the company’s policies and procedures in terms of the amount of time between reviews and raises — and when it’s “acceptable” to ask for a raise. And timing refers to the company’s current financial situation as well as the general economic climate. And, finally, timing refers to where you are in terms of your work and major projects. Obviously, it makes sense to ask for a raise:

• within the normal parameters of company policy;
• when the company is in sound financial standing, and
• when you have just had a major success.

One other thing to remember. Generally speaking, if you are doing your job well, then your boss expects you to ask for a raise — and ideally is prepared to offer you one. However, doing a good job is no longer enough in many organizations. The strategies in this article are designed to prepare you better, reduce your anxiety, and help you achieve your raise and salary goals.

Short-Term Strategies for Getting that Raise
The following strategies are things you can do now if you have an upcoming review and/or want a raise sooner rather than later.

1. Develop a plan. The most important thing you can do is develop a plan for your raise meeting. Schedule an appointment rather than just walking in and asking for a raise. Have a strategy — even develop a script you want to follow.

2. Know what you’re worth. Examine all aspects of your job and then do a little research to determine your value – both inside and outside the company. Talk to someone in the human resources department and see if you can get pay scales for jobs that are similar to yours. Use a salary calculator or other salary sources and determine the salary range in your geographic area. See our Salary Resources section.

3. Be realistic. Even if you are a superstar, and even if you were hired at the very lowest starting salary, most employers will not give you a raise that pushes you to the top of the salary range in one shot. (And they’ll never pay you a salary outside the range.) Most employers look at raises in terms of percentage increases.

4. Focus on what you deserve rather than what you need. Your employer doesn’t care if you can’t make ends meet because you just bought a new house or a new car — that’s a personal responsibility issue. Focus on why you deserve a raise — how you’ve added value to the department and the organization — rather than any personal needs for a raise.

5. Track contributions and accomplishments. Think of the raise meeting as a job interview. To get the raise you deserve, you need to demonstrate all the positive contributions you have made to the organization – not only for your boss (who should know but doesn’t always), but also for whoever is the final decision-maker in deciding the size of your raise. Bring support material — such as a spreadsheet with your accomplishments — with you to the meeting. Consider using something like this accomplishments worksheet.

6. Demonstrate commitment to department and organization. Show how you have taken on new projects and assignments, acquired new skills, furthered your education or training, and added new certifications or degrees. Demonstrate how you add value to the department and the organization.

7. Be flexible and open to other options. Never go into a raise meeting with an ultimatum — unless you’re prepared to deal with the consequences — and be prepared to compromise about the size of the raise. And if money is tight, consider other options/perks that you may able to negotiate for in the short-term to compensate for the lack of the raise. See sidebar (above) for some ideas. See also, Clever Ways to Get a Raise: Perks you Might Not Have Thought About.

8. Focus on the future. While you want to focus on your many accomplishments and contributions to date, you also want to show how you plan to continue contributing to helping your boss, your department, and your organization.

9. Understand the employer’s position. There are many other factors besides worth that go into raises, so be sure you understand department and company politics. It’s also a good idea to have an understanding of how your boss feels about raises and your standing within the department.

10. Have a strategy, but let boss take the lead. Just as with salary negotiations, you never want to state an actual amount that you want. Instead, let your boss make the first raise offer. Once an offer has been made, take a moment to consider it before you react to it. Review all negotiation strategies in our Salary and Job Offer Negotiation Tutorial.

11. Write a follow-up memo after the meeting. Once the meeting is over, write a follow-up memo summarizing the meeting, demonstrating your value, and highlighting your accomplishments — and send the memo to your boss as documentation. If you get tongue-tied in these types of meetings, you might want to prepare the memo before the meeting and use it as a basis of negotiation in the meeting.

Long-Term Strategies for Getting that Raise
So, if you are not in a position currently to get the raise you want, what are some things you can do to prepare for a raise meeting down the road? The following strategies are things you can start doing now to build your negotiating power for that future raise.

1. Set the stage for a future review. If your boss tells you it’s not a good time for a raise meeting or if you don’t get everything you wanted in your last meeting, now is the time to set the stage for a future meeting. Ask your boss for suggestions on how you can improve and how you can make more contributions to the department and company so that you can get to where you want to be.

2. Raise your profile within the department/organization. We’re raised as children to work hard and be modest, but you cannot assume that anyone outside yourself really knows all that you do for the organization. Begin building your brand — your reputation — within and beyond your department.

3. Find a mentor in the senior management of the company. Having a person higher up in the organization to mentor you is valuable for a number of reasons, but it’s certainly helpful in terms of getting the raise you desire. To find a mentor, identify someone higher in the organization you admire, and test the waters by asking advice. If there seems to be rapport, begin to slowly build a mutual relationship.

4. Do a more thorough job of tracking accomplishments/achievements. If you are having trouble remembering all your accomplishments and contributions, now is the time to begin keeping a diary of all your successes. Keeping such good track will not only help you for your next raise meeting, but will have you better prepared for the job-search if the need or interest arises. Read our article, For Job-Hunting Success: Track and Leverage Your Accomplishments.

Final Thoughts
In many situations, getting the raise you deserve will indeed take a lot of planning and strategy on your part. From reading this article, you should now see that raise meetings often combine elements of job interviewing (tracking contributions and accomplishments) and salary/job offer negotiation. Take the time to be prepared — and you’ll have better success than if you don’t. For a quick review of the strategies discussed in this article, read our Do’s and Don’ts of Requesting a Raise. Finally, be sure and avail yourself of all the wonderful tools we have in the Salary Negotiation Resources section of Quintessential Careers.

Finally, don’t forget to check out all the workplace resources we offer.